Top Ten Reasons I Wish I Had Attended Germany 2006

by Ryland Walker Knight

10. I've never been there.
9. Luiz Felipe Scolari.
8. Firebombing the Nuremburg stadium--how can anybody get excited in that bitch? (Yeah, firebombing is uncouth, but I said it.)
7. German pints of beer.
6. Hopping over to the Czech Republic in July for a month of dirt cheap and excessivly ginormous Czech pints.
5. Wayne Rooney is the man; forget Peter Crouch.
4. The fights I'm sure the beautiful game can't stop.
3. Those hot girls all painted proud and bouncing up and down.
2. The US-Italy red card colored draw.
1. Sex huts.