Saturday, October 31, 2009

Two Jacks. Or, No way, Jose!

by Claire Twisselman

Call me a grinchess: I don't care! Most of the people I love the most live for Halloween. I don't. Straight up. In fact, it's pretty basic: I hate it. Sure, I've had some fun times. But, seriously, as I've gotten older, rampant costuming and no-mystery ghoulish behavior makes me make a "that smells" face. And part of my scowl comes from everybody being an asshole, insisting on my participation. I don't dress up. Stop poking my ribs, jerks! Do you want me to wear nothing? To get drunk and make out with my best friend? No thanks. And I've worn fishnets. Hell, I've even made out with my best friend. But, you know what? The best thing about Halloween is the pumpkins—and the start of pumpkin pie season. So that's what I've done this year, and that's what I'll do tonight: make faces with a knife. Also, I'll watch The Shining on my uncle's ginormous television in his basement with the sound turned up way loud. Yup: I'll be avoiding the doorbell.


[Later I might whip my own cream for a slice of my aunt's perfect vegan pie. Click that image above for a similar recipe I found, looking for a picture since I left my camera in my friend's back seat last weekend.]


  1. Well, Amen. At least you're not in Halloween hell like me-- at work logging news stories all weekend in a basement office. 98% of news stories so far are pumpkin carving and dogs dressed as Batman. Next time let's trade basements.

  2. Yea, way to avoid broken bottles and real blood.

  3. Amen. Similar behavior; I'll take The Shining & The Night of the Living Dead & pumpkins any day. The other stuff? Not so much.

  4. i am so grateful to you for posting that shining trailer. that is my first cinematic memory and i have not seen it since. but given the first movies i can recall seeing in the theatre were the aristocats and snow white, i have no idea how i came to see that trailer, unless there was some programmer with a challenging sense of humour..